One episode in, She-Hulk: Attorney At Law is already a breath of fresh air: chaotic, funny, and asking all the questions about the Marvel Cinematic Universe that fans actually want to know. Or at least, one important one.
This scene is best experienced for yourself, but if you’re simply not going to watch it, allow me to sum it up. (Obviously, there will be spoilers.)
Jennifer Walters (Tatiana Maslany) is spending some quality time with her cousin Bruce Banner (Mark Ruffalo), after an accident resulted in her being exposed to Bruce’s irradiated Hulk blood, which turned her into a Hulk herself. Hiding out at the Mexican beach house slash secret lab where he spent the Blip integrating his Bruce and Hulk personalities to become Smart Hulk, Bruce gives Jen a crash course in Hulk life, from strength training to mindfulness, and also helps her explore the limits of their increased ability to metabolise alcohol.
The episode winds up as Jen goes back to her life as a lawyer, her hopes of keeping her new alter ego a secret swiftly dashed in a superpowered courtroom incident. But the mid-credits scene takes us back to margarita night at Bruce’s beachside bar, where a thoroughly sloshed Jen is ranting tearily to her cousin. Is she moved by his still-fresh grief over Tony Stark and Natasha Romanov’s deaths? Is it finally, truly hitting her that her life has been completely upended by a freak accident?
Nope. She’s fixated on the fact that Steve Rogers never got laid.
This is a topic of some fascination for her. Right before their fateful accident, she was regaling Bruce with her theory that sweet Cap was always too busy saving the world to bang. Laying out the whole timeline, from receiving the super soldier serum and being the face of the American armed forces to his ice nap, his return to society and saving the world a bunch of times before vanishing into the past, Jen simply can’t see how Captain America ever found the time or energy to get some. And in the tag scene here, she’s clearly brought it up again after several Hulk-sized cocktails.
“It’s just so sad! Steve Rogers did so much for his country but he never got to experience sex!” she wails, shaking her head. “I mean did you see that ass? That ass, like, did not deserve to die a virgin.”
“Steve Rogers is not a virgin,” snaps Bruce, clutching his marg. “He lost his virginity to a girl in 1943 on the USO tour.”
Jen is suddenly looking very sober, and triumphant.
“I knew it!” she crows, spreading her arms wide. “Captain America FU—” And the scene cuts to black, because while Jen may break the fourth wall like Deadpool, this is still the MCU and nobody is allowed to actually swear.
“Captain America FU—”
But there you have it, folks: Steve Rogers, even before he went into the ice, definitely had sex. And it’s canon, as Banner’s response comes directly from Feige himself.
Of course, we still have more questions. Did he get to do it more than once? Did the super serum help him have a slightly better experience than most first-timers manage? Who was the mystery woman? (Was it Natalie Dormer, aka Private Lorraine?) Was there fondue involved? Will we ever get to see the post-battle conversation where Tony (because it was definitely Tony) wheedled that information out of Steve?
Is Steve Rogers still alive in the MCU?
Perhaps the most intriguing detail is Bruce’s choice of tense: “Steve Rogers is not a virgin.” Not was — is.
As far as we know, Steve lived out his life with his beloved Peggy in an adjacent timeline before returning the shield to Sam as an old man, and there’s nothing to suggest that he’s died in that universe (especially as the serum may help his body resist the ravages of natural aging). But the post-Endgame MCU has certainly made it seem like Steve is widely believed to be dead. Joaquin Torres in Falcon and the Winter Soldier mentioned the “Cap is secretly living on the moon” theory, but grand tributes like the Statue of Liberty holding his shield in No Way Home and the whole-ass Broadway musical in Hawkeye suggest the kind of fawning we usually reserve for dead celebrities.
It’s a long bow to draw from one little verb, sure. But if Bruce Banner knows the details of Steve’s sex life, who’s to say what other secrets he’s hiding in that big brain of his?